Shit happens. It’s such a simple reductive phrase that in some small way accounts for all the unexplainable, unimaginable moments that throws us off course.
But I’ve started to realize that that perspective is simply just one perspective and that it is our reactions to said “shit” when it happens that goes on to define that moment and its effect on us.
I have, at least for the majority of my life, been a “what next?” person. I’ll be doing what I’m doing and, by and large, quite content in that, but my mind is already on to the “what next?” question. This is never more evident for me than when the proverbial shit hits the fan. Immediately whenever something negative happens - a moment, an experience, a pain (physical, emotional spiritual) - I automatically default to “fix it” mode. It’s a pretty natural response - this sucks and how do I make it stop. What steps do I need to take to make this shitty situation go away?!
But recently I have started to adopt a slightly different perspective. I was told a beautiful story once that I’m now going to share with you:
A dear friend of mine told how, when she was younger, she was walking outside when she saw a cocoon hanging from a bush. Inside the cocoon was a butterfly that was struggling to break free from the sharp, tough, jagged walls of the cocoon. My friend recognized the butterfly’s struggle and decided to help it. She gently teased open the walls of the cocoon, slowly widening the gap until it was large enough for the butterfly to climb through. She then stepped back and waited....The butterfly inched its way out of the hole, climbed up onto the cocoon and stood to face its new life… and promptly fell to the floor and died. When my friend relayed the story to her mother and her mother explained how the struggle of the butterfly to escape the cocoon was essential to its survival. The clawing and scraping strengthened its young limbs and the crawling helped to clean the gunk from its wings. Without the struggle it simply wouldn’t be able to fly.
In my eagerness to move past the struggle, to keenly focus on the “what next?” I have often failed to appreciate the benefit of the moment I was or am in. It’s such a simple perspective shift for me, but for me it is such a powerful one too. It is the shift from being the victim of a circumstance to recognizing its value. Even if that value may not be fully actualized until later.
Each lesson prepares us better for each encounter. Each struggle gives us strength. Each trial clears just a little more gunk from our wings. We need the struggle. But also, while we are in it it is useful to remember that everything is temporary. Soon this will pass. Soon we will be strong enough.
Soon we will fly.
